It's as if my true self is buried so deeply within, underneath the walls I put up. I can feel myself retreating further and further into myself, barely surfacing anymore. Entire chunks of my day play out, but I feel so far away, as if I'm watching from a vast distance, outside my body, somehow.
I'm trying to forget, but sometimes it gets too difficult and it just leaves me broken and all I want is for things to go back the way they were
Saturday, March 27, 2010
I'll tell my little brother that unicorns and dragons do exist. That babies are carefully wrapped up in white bundles which are delivered by great white storks who fly thousands of miles. If we look carefully enough, we'll realize that there are guardian angels placed on earth to watch over us and guide us. That he has to be a good boy so Santa Claus will give him something wonderful during
Christmas. and so on and so forth.
I think children nowadays grow up too fast. Their parents just dish out the dull, bleak facts of this world to their kids, instead of weaving them shining, dazzling gems of stories. Wouldn't you rather believe in a fantastical, amazing world where anything is possible? I guess you'd probably scoff at this idea, telling me that I'm too naive and idealistic. Well, stories were my best friends when I was a kid. There is still time for him to discover the truth, eventually. Meanwhile, he should be given a chance to view the world with a wide-eyed wonder.
Monday, March 15, 2010
" I have this which you won't read. Whatever form of words I find, it will make no difference- there's nothing more you'll let me say to you. I work in invisible ink, unsay myself in rooms I don't want and don't know and I keep ahead of the road to stay ahead of so much silence, to be beside you in this one way, travelling as I know you're travelling, running.
I never was sure what we believed in, except each other, but since I am helpless and you may be too, I make us a prayer every night which asks if you could be happy, if you could be safe. Then I would have almost enough.
My love never was any better than that."
Friday, March 12, 2010
Thursday, March 4, 2010
What I learnt in school:
1. Society views you as a unit of production:( See what capitalism does to your country? You're reduced to a mere unit, all they care about is increasing your productivity, for the sake of contributing to the GDP and making Singapore a 'world class' city
2. If you don't look as good as those who are genetically superior, or behave a little differently from the rest, you get labelled as a freak/geek/loser/misfit. It's as simple as that.
3. It's a dog eat dog world. Toughen up, or you risk getting eaten alive.
4.The Singaporean education system is utterly stifling and conformist. We're all trained to think that if we fail, it's the end of the world. At a young age, we're like docile sheep, passively accepting whatever information that is being fed to us, without bothering to challenge these ideas or even thinking for ourselves. And that's something even I am guilty of.